Three Words Activity
Compare your intended identity with the three words other people actually see
- Difficulty
- Starter
- Time to result
- ~days to results
- Steps
- 4
- Confidence
- 100%
The Three Words Activity is a lightweight form of 360 feedback. A person asks colleagues or contacts for the three words that come to mind when they think of that person, without steering respondents toward strengths or weaknesses. The responses reveal impact rather than intention. Repeated words show which qualities are visible in communication and action, while an intended quality that never appears signals a reputation gap. Cohn describes a client who repeatedly called herself strategic, yet eight to ten respondents returned words such as detailed, critical, thoughtful, analytical, and methodical; strategic did not appear. The result did not prove the client lacked strategic thought. It showed that other people could not observe it, so she needed actions and communication aligned with the reputation she wanted.
Origin
Extracted from The Tim Ferriss Show as Cohn's quick and easy personal-brand feedback activity.
Core principles
- 01You know your intention while other people know your impact
- 02Reputation is inferred from communication and action
- 03Unaided words reveal what is actually salient
- 04A gap between intended and observed traits calls for visible behavioral change
How to run it
- 1
Select observers
Choose people who have enough direct exposure to form an impression of you.
Pro tip Use eight to ten respondents when possible.
- 2
Ask without steering
Ask for the three words that come to mind, explicitly declining to frame them as strengths and weaknesses.
Pro tip Explain that a coach suggested the exercise if the request feels awkward.
Watch out Do not include the qualities you hope they will name.
- 3
Find the signal
Group recurring words and note which intended qualities are missing.
Pro tip Treat repeated independent answers as the strongest signal.
- 4
Align behavior
Make desired qualities observable through what you communicate and do.
Watch out Thinking a quality internally does not transmit it to other people.
In the wild
Cohn's client described herself as strategic. Responses from roughly eight to ten people included detailed, critical, thoughtful, analytical, and methodical, but nobody supplied strategic.
→ The client learned that her intended strategic identity was not visible in her actions and communication.
Common mistakes
Prompting the desired answer
Asking specifically about strengths or naming target traits contaminates the unaided impression.
Confusing thought with impact
Other people can observe communication and action, not the qualities a person privately attributes to themselves.
Is it for you?
Best for
It is best for professionals assessing personal brand, career positioning, or leadership impact.
Not ideal for
It is not ideal for diagnosing complex performance problems that require detailed behavioral evidence.
From the transcript
“you're the expert on your intention and everybody around you is the expert on your impact”
“the three words that you think about when you think about me”
“people think these thoughts in their head they think but really what people observe is action they observe your communication and they observe what you…”
From the episode
#539: Alisa Cohn on Prenups for Startup Founders, How to Reinvent Your Career, the Importance of "Pre-Mortems," and the Three Selves
Alisa Cohn